








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2095 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1378 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1481 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1295 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $651,103 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forman ツ | 62% | 68 |
| #2 | ??? | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | ii@ | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | KeepItLoopy | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Pie | 59% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pie | 59% | 71 |
| #6 | holding it | 56% | 137 |
| #7 | :D | 55% | 67 |
| #8 | Bambi | 54% | 48 |
| #9 | Lil Uzi Girth | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holding it | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Lil Uzi Girth | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Pie | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | :D | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Bambi | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holding it | 404 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Forman ツ | 313 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | Pie | 283 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bambi | 196 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | :D | 173 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ??? | +1.74 | 89 | 74 |
| #2 | yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah | +1.69 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | Forman ツ | +1.19 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | Bambi | +0.90 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | Pie | +0.76 | 77 | 65 |





