








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3342 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3387 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2434 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2318 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $682,864 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tsamand | 54% | 78 |
| #2 | Jutichevic | 52% | 61 |
| #3 | jones | 51% | 136 |
| #4 | -Miraley | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Alexander Stubb | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jones | 51% | 136 |
| #4 | -Miraley | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Alexander Stubb | 46% | 74 |
| #6 | Muno | 41% | 51 |
| #7 | saunatakkijumala | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tsamand | 18 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | jones | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Muno | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Jutichevic | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Alexander Stubb | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jones | 438 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | Jutichevic | 282 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | Muno | 218 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | tsamand | 211 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Alexander Stubb | 128 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | securee | +1.71 | 46 | 71 |
| #2 | -Miraley | +1.47 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | Muno | +0.58 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | jones | +0.50 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | tsamand | -0.26 | 55 | 63 |





