








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1383 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3377 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2397 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2710 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $947,014 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IM_TheDanishAntonio | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Schmidt | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Johnson(DK) | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | borgen | 46% | 115 |
| #5 | 3cho | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Schmidt | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Johnson(DK) | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | borgen | 46% | 115 |
| #5 | 3cho | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | Sly | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | borgen | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Schmidt | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Sly | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Johnson(DK) | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | borgen | 471 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Schmidt | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | IM_TheDanishAntonio | 42 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Johnson(DK) | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Sly | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3cho | +3.16 | 71 | 23 |
| #2 | Sly | +0.97 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | Schmidt | +0.46 | 50 | 75 |
| #4 | ruso | -0.54 | 63 | 54 |
| #5 | Johnson(DK) | -1.18 | 37 | 50 |





