








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 282 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3067 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4998 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4198 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3581 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,253 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmidty | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Donk | 64% | 56 |
| #3 | 3cho | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | ruso | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | Johnson(DK) | 49% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 3cho | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | ruso | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | Johnson(DK) | 49% | 100 |
| #6 | IM_TheDanishAntonio | 49% | 184 |
| #7 | Xno | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IM_TheDanishAntonio | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ruso | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Schmidty | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Johnson(DK) | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Donk | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IM_TheDanishAntonio | 223 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Donk | 157 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Johnson(DK) | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Xno | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Schmidty | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmidty | +3.50 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | 3cho | +3.46 | 75 | 29 |
| #3 | Donk | +2.05 | 66 | 72 |
| #4 | Schmidt | +1.58 | 53 | 68 |
| #5 | ruso | +0.02 | 65 | 58 |





