








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2003 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1561 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1274 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 929 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,686 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zero to Hero | 100% | 7 |
| #2 | Mr. Dark Side ⛧ | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Chaos | 74% | 23 |
| #4 | Shisno | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | ☠UdieFirst☠ | 71% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | LadyK | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | BOT Kevin | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Kaz ❟❛❟ | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | OMG its Epic | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Kevin | 174 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Phoenix | 107 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Chaos | 75 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Felicia | 52 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | ☠UdieFirst☠ | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stre_aker | +5.41 | 84 | 53 |
| #2 | Shisno | +4.72 | 60 | 73 |
| #3 | Mr. Dark Side ⛧ | +3.74 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | BOT Kevin | +3.33 | 80 | 75 |
| #5 | Felicia | +3.09 | 69 | 78 |





