








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3394 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1199 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 3046 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2888 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,387 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForsakeN46⛧ | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | LadyK | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Sergeant Reckless | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | ₮₩ł₴₮ɆĐ | 34% | 112 |
| #5 | Boom!Machine | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | LadyK | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Sergeant Reckless | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | ₮₩ł₴₮ɆĐ | 34% | 112 |
| #5 | Boom!Machine | 32% | 22 |
| #6 | ☭FizzY☣AciD☭ | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForsakeN46⛧ | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | ₮₩ł₴₮ɆĐ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | LadyK | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₮₩ł₴₮ɆĐ | 259 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Boom!Machine | 110 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | ForsakeN46⛧ | 66 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | LadyK | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sergeant Reckless | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☠UdieFirst☠ | +1.11 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | ₮₩ł₴₮ɆĐ | +0.15 | 35 | 72 |
| #3 | LadyK | +0.15 | 50 | 45 |
| #4 | ForsakeN46⛧ | -0.26 | 69 | 75 |
| #5 | Boom!Machine | -3.28 | 23 | 64 |





