








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2012 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3215 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3850 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3496 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $875,763 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpringbokSpringbok | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | BastiKalaschnikow | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | πΎππππππ | 47% | 135 |
| #4 | show me | 46% | 168 |
| #5 | Panigale# | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BastiKalaschnikow | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | πΎππππππ | 47% | 135 |
| #4 | show me | 46% | 168 |
| #5 | Panigale# | 45% | 31 |
| #6 | WackelPudding | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | show me | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | SpringbokSpringbok | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | πΎππππππ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Panigale# | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | BastiKalaschnikow | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | show me | 218 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | πΎππππππ | 139 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | WackelPudding | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | SpringbokSpringbok | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | BastiKalaschnikow | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpringbokSpringbok | +3.91 | 69 | 71 |
| #2 | show me | +3.22 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | Panigale# | +1.84 | 78 | 29 |
| #4 | πΎππππππ | -1.10 | 42 | 61 |
| #5 | WackelPudding | -1.89 | 31 | 54 |





