








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2742 | 47% |
| Smokes | 1542 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 534 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,060 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuzinho | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | webkinz pirate bed | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | Shugger | 43% | 63 |
| #4 | Duncan | 35% | 65 |
| #5 | BIG SCRIPPER | 34% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuzinho | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | webkinz pirate bed | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | Shugger | 43% | 63 |
| #4 | Duncan | 35% | 65 |
| #5 | BIG SCRIPPER | 34% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shugger | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | BIG SCRIPPER | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shugger | 261 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Duncan | 124 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Cuzinho | 105 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | BIG SCRIPPER | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | webkinz pirate bed | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuzinho | +1.45 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | PISS | +0.83 | 52 | 56 |
| #3 | Duncan | +0.24 | 50 | 62 |
| #4 | webkinz pirate bed | -1.45 | 36 | 54 |
| #5 | Shugger | -1.47 | 50 | 62 |





