








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 960 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1198 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 615 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 803 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $418,480 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | timz | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | lanponygG | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Ѱ zonymonst9rSON Ѱ | 55% | 56 |
| #4 | Lande | 55% | 62 |
| #5 | Luvar | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ѱ zonymonst9rSON Ѱ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | SUPERLUCKy ☆ | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | timz | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Luvar | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pvier | 214 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ѱ zonymonst9rSON Ѱ | 195 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | M1ka | 189 | 0.32 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lande | 135 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Luvar | 120 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUPERLUCKy ☆ | +2.23 | 54 | 72 |
| #2 | M1ka | +2.09 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | Niico | +1.83 | 66 | 71 |
| #4 | pvier | +1.40 | 87 | 66 |
| #5 | timz | +1.22 | 72 | 48 |





