








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 483 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 397 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2066 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4445 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3438 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2819 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,619,457 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 473 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | 53% | 74 |
| #2 | llllllllluke | 51% | 269 |
| #3 | GR✪MACHIN✪ | 48% | 221 |
| #4 | The Kyle Smith | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | screM | 47% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | llllllllluke | 51% | 269 |
| #3 | GR✪MACHIN✪ | 48% | 221 |
| #4 | The Kyle Smith | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | screM | 47% | 199 |
| #6 | BigRich | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GR✪MACHIN✪ | 20 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | llllllllluke | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ♿ | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | screM | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | The Kyle Smith | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GR✪MACHIN✪ | 452 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | llllllllluke | 398 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | screM | 390 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | ♿ | 119 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | The Kyle Smith | 98 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | +2.20 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | llllllllluke | +1.20 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | GR✪MACHIN✪ | +1.13 | 53 | 66 |
| #4 | Flag Man | +0.39 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | screM | -0.53 | 70 | 56 |





