








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 692 | 20% |
| Smokes | 994 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 577 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1131 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $186,265 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrimReaper | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Spin | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Wizzy | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | _-LOGIC-_ | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | GenPapaJ | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | deckard4029 | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | StiffySupreme | 57% | 7 |
| #9 | SuperShooter777 | 50% | 6 |
| #10 | RevI700 | 50% | 14 |
| #11 | Shock | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GenPapaJ | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | RevI700 | 4 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | GrimReaper | 4 | 0.0209 |
| #4 | StiffySupreme | 4 | 0.0292 |
| #5 | _-LOGIC-_ | 2 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shock | 53 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | GrimReaper | 46 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | Wizzy | 36 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | GenPapaJ | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Spin | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-LOGIC-_ | +2.66 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | Ion | +1.93 | 69 | 54 |
| #3 | Spin | +1.58 | 70 | 67 |
| #4 | Wizzy | +1.28 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | GenPapaJ | +1.27 | 77 | 34 |





