










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
47 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7 | 5% |
| Smokes | 24 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 49 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 56 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $102,088 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Origorn | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Alb1 | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | blob | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | Wavy Gravy | 38% | 26 |
| #5 | Doughboy | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doughboy | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Wavy Gravy | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | blob | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Bug Knight | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blob | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Doughboy | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Wavy Gravy | 22 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Colonel Klonker | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Origorn | 11 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Origorn | +6.47 | 65 | 71 |
| #2 | Doughboy | +4.96 | 94 | 63 |
| #3 | Wavy Gravy | +3.01 | 55 | 54 |
| #4 | Alb1 | +1.58 | 31 | 45 |
| #5 | blob | -0.14 | 49 | 50 |





