








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 433 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 556 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1190 | 9% |
| Smokes | 4390 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2964 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4604 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,416,436 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wavy Gravy | 186 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Doughboy | 165 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Alb1 | 105 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | blob | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Colonel Klonker | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doughboy | +2.52 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | Wavy Gravy | +0.64 | 51 | 51 |
| #3 | Alb1 | +0.59 | 41 | 52 |
| #4 | blob | -0.64 | 45 | 55 |
| #5 | Bug Knight | -0.74 | 45 | 39 |





