








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1402 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3431 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2884 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3067 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,074,809 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sloink | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | gyafun | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | Dr_Wiff | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Origorn | 54% | 83 |
| #5 | DannyBoy104 | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wavy Gravy | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Doughboy | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | blob | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Origorn | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Bug Knight | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Origorn | 357 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Doughboy | 290 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | Wavy Gravy | 269 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kers | 171 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | gyafun | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cats | +2.53 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Kers | +2.42 | 71 | 73 |
| #3 | immortal bot | +2.14 | 76 | 47 |
| #4 | Doughboy | +1.85 | 83 | 65 |
| #5 | Origorn | +1.24 | 56 | 69 |





