








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1144 | 31% |
| Smokes | 918 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 868 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 808 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,968 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoelZkype ヅ | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Sni⅁⅁erS 04 | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | schnappi | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | uzi | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Sukkalehto | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | uzi | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Sukkalehto | 38% | 13 |
| #6 | irettloR | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | itsroT | 35% | 20 |
| #8 | ile | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itsroT | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | JoelZkype ヅ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | uzi | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoelZkype ヅ | 148 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #2 | uzi | 136 | 0.42 | 4 min |
| #3 | schnappi | 101 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sukkalehto | 62 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sni⅁⅁erS 04 | 61 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoelZkype ヅ | +3.69 | 61 | 67 |
| #2 | Sni⅁⅁erS 04 | +3.42 | 75 | 74 |
| #3 | ile | +1.52 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | irettloR | +0.46 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | itsroT | +0.25 | 81 | 64 |





