








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1757 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1108 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 749 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1284 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,188 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 426 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | uzi | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | itsroT | 41% | 39 |
| #11 | pexi | 40% | 10 |
| #12 | irettloR | 40% | 15 |
| #13 | Morley | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uzi | 230 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | JoelZkype ヅ | 190 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | itsroT | 113 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sni⅁⅁erS 04 | 106 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | dANNY | 59 | 0.38 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sni⅁⅁erS 04 | +3.24 | 72 | 77 |
| #2 | dANNY | +2.89 | 85 | 84 |
| #3 | Hekee | +2.73 | 72 | 78 |
| #4 | vRevie | +1.62 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | JoelZkype ヅ | +1.59 | 69 | 57 |





