








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2410 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3140 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3157 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2159 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,593,928 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Wigglers | 48% | 141 |
| #8 | Lungenbrötchen | 45% | 73 |
| #9 | iUnikat | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | Kevin Kupferbirne | 43% | 49 |
| #11 | Habelinho | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AliPay | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Lungenbrötchen | 11 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Wigglers | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | iUnikat | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Kevin Kupferbirne | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wigglers | 206 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lungenbrötchen | 192 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | AliPay | 187 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kevin Kupferbirne | 143 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | iUnikat | 138 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dobras | +3.41 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | tr3lof | +3.33 | 63 | 71 |
| #3 | Kevin Kupferbirne | +3.13 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | Lungenbrötchen | +2.47 | 83 | 59 |
| #5 | Habelinho | +1.74 | 84 | 55 |





