








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1191 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1565 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1190 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 974 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,700 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Pagat | 43% | 126 |
| #7 | kne | 43% | 182 |
| #8 | Jrms DDPAT | 41% | 142 |
| #9 | human trashx | 41% | 79 |
| #10 | GordonRamsMe | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kne | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | human trashx | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Pagat | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Let him Cock | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | GordonRamsMe | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kne | 582 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Jrms DDPAT | 341 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | human trashx | 199 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pagat | 198 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | greaeti | 151 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feut Club President | +2.37 | 84 | 20 |
| #2 | kne | +1.47 | 60 | 68 |
| #3 | Pagat | +0.83 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | Let him Cock | +0.48 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | m^?¿ | -0.27 | 45 | 51 |





