








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2789 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3127 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3413 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1665 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,232,389 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Let him Cock | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | GordonRamsMe | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Feut Club President | 53% | 154 |
| #4 | human trashx | 52% | 122 |
| #5 | Jrms DDPAT | 48% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kne | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Pagat | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | human trashx | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Cris | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Feut Club President | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kne | 885 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | Jrms DDPAT | 417 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | Pagat | 336 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | human trashx | 293 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cris | 100 | 0.09 | 3 min |





