








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 669 | 25% |
| Smokes | 320 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 965 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 702 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,681 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 565 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Let him Cock | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | greaeti | 53% | 154 |
| #3 | human trashx | 52% | 134 |
| #4 | Jrms DDPAT | 52% | 244 |
| #5 | m^?¿ | 51% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jrms DDPAT | 52% | 244 |
| #5 | m^?¿ | 51% | 88 |
| #6 | kne | 51% | 316 |
| #7 | Pagat | 48% | 204 |
| #8 | Cris | 45% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kne | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Jrms DDPAT | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Pagat | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | greaeti | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | human trashx | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kne | 1008 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #2 | Jrms DDPAT | 566 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | greaeti | 413 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Pagat | 374 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | human trashx | 341 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feut Club President | +2.48 | 83 | 25 |
| #2 | kne | +1.60 | 60 | 70 |
| #3 | Let him Cock | +0.01 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | Pagat | -0.31 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | m^?¿ | -1.07 | 43 | 55 |





