








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1503 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1412 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1151 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1167 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,281 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JutkuJ | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | SAMSSON | 48% | 122 |
| #3 | Arnold | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | Rodetskyi | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | Vattu. | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SAMSSON | 48% | 122 |
| #3 | Arnold | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | Rodetskyi | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | Vattu. | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | Radical | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rodetskyi | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | SAMSSON | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Arnold | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Radical | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAMSSON | 520 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | Rodetskyi | 141 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Arnold | 99 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Vattu. | 46 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Radical | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vattu. | +2.27 | 55 | 67 |
| #2 | SAMSSON | +1.38 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | Rodetskyi | +0.20 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | JutkuJ | -0.55 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Radical | -0.72 | 67 | 66 |





