








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 226 | 28% |
| Smokes | 203 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 241 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 140 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,663 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stone | 47% | 38 |
| #2 | Luwyl Chu | 45% | 42 |
| #3 | hero | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | Ssamch | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | Sphinx | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stone | 47% | 38 |
| #2 | Luwyl Chu | 45% | 42 |
| #3 | hero | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | Ssamch | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | Sphinx | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luwyl Chu | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Stone | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ssamch | 120 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | Luwyl Chu | 112 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Stone | 91 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | hero | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sphinx | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TDN | +1.82 | 55 | 53 |
| #2 | Luwyl Chu | +1.57 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | Sphinx | +1.17 | 47 | 51 |
| #4 | hero | -1.57 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | Stone | -1.68 | 44 | 66 |





