








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 594 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2463 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1397 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1240 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,260,878 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sVenTineL | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | APE | 48% | 87 |
| #3 | deca | 45% | 51 |
| #4 | Decoy | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | CrazyMo | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Noodles | 44% | 18 |
| #7 | Prototyp1988 | 43% | 107 |
| #8 | ✴ʝυʅιʝα☾😈 | 40% | 163 |
| #9 | Call me Heisenberg! | 38% | 113 |
| #10 | Abgeschmatzt | 36% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Call me Heisenberg! | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Prototyp1988 | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | deca | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Decoy | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | ✴ʝυʅιʝα☾😈 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Call me Heisenberg! | 315 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | ✴ʝυʅιʝα☾😈 | 165 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Prototyp1988 | 91 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | APE | 72 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | deca | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noodles | +2.97 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | Call me Heisenberg! | +2.91 | 63 | 58 |
| #3 | Prototyp1988 | +1.72 | 71 | 38 |
| #4 | Decoy | +1.05 | 33 | 55 |
| #5 | ✴ʝυʅιʝα☾😈 | +0.77 | 66 | 48 |





