








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5252 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4624 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3342 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4094 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,890 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fab :) | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | kobe | 65% | 317 |
| #3 | ShockeM | 65% | 341 |
| #4 | mos | 64% | 165 |
| #5 | drinker of water | 62% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | mos | 64% | 165 |
| #5 | drinker of water | 62% | 47 |
| #6 | Blossom | 57% | 92 |
| #7 | e | 56% | 45 |
| #8 | itstommy | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobe | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ShockeM | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | mos | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | drinker of water | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | fab :) | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobe | 1327 | 0.21 | 36 min |
| #2 | ShockeM | 1230 | 0.17 | 30 min |
| #3 | itstommy | 462 | 0.45 | 15 min |
| #4 | mos | 315 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Blossom | 242 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itstommy | +3.32 | 81 | 81 |
| #2 | ShockeM | +2.14 | 80 | 55 |
| #3 | AIR | +1.47 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | kobe | +0.52 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | e | +0.11 | 59 | 68 |





