








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 551 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6692 | 42% |
| Smokes | 4833 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2010 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2489 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,361,426 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 745 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AIR | 65% | 341 |
| #2 | kobe | 62% | 460 |
| #3 | drinker of water | 60% | 75 |
| #4 | mos | 60% | 261 |
| #5 | e | 58% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | mos | 60% | 261 |
| #5 | e | 58% | 48 |
| #6 | Blossom | 54% | 145 |
| #7 | source2peek | 48% | 48 |
| #8 | fab :) | 46% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobe | 21 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | AIR | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | mos | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Blossom | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | fab :) | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobe | 1937 | 0.20 | 49 min |
| #2 | AIR | 1529 | 0.21 | 39 min |
| #3 | mos | 554 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | fab :) | 370 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #5 | Blossom | 365 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShockeM | +2.00 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | source2peek | +1.74 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | AIR | +1.37 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | kobe | +0.52 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | mos | -0.05 | 71 | 49 |





