








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 712 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 136 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2004 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2876 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1640 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1363 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $380,781 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sussebass | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Toji | 47% | 137 |
| #3 | Spiderman | 47% | 70 |
| #4 | Sameboe | 40% | 75 |
| #5 | Toji C | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Toji | 47% | 137 |
| #3 | Spiderman | 47% | 70 |
| #4 | Sameboe | 40% | 75 |
| #5 | Toji C | 36% | 22 |
| #6 | BOT GUNNER | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toji | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Spiderman | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Toji C | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | BOT GUNNER | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Sameboe | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toji | 285 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Sameboe | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Spiderman | 66 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Toji C | 59 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | sussebass | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sussebass | +2.67 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | Toji C | +1.83 | 62 | 50 |
| #3 | Patrick Baitman | +1.12 | 38 | 48 |
| #4 | Spiderman | -0.44 | 36 | 54 |
| #5 | Toji | -0.76 | 46 | 53 |





