










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 138 | 32% |
| Smokes | 53 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 89 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 158 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $66,073 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheezGOD | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Spiderman | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | :3 | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | smil'3 mofo | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Snellaa | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Snellaa | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | sussebass | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | Patrick Baitman | 34% | 29 |
| #8 | Toji | 25% | 8 |
| #9 | Sameboe | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick Baitman | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Toji | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Spiderman | 1 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick Baitman | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | Toji | 14 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Sameboe | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | sussebass | 9 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | :3 | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheezGOD | +4.92 | 60 | 39 |
| #2 | :3 | +3.25 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | Spiderman | +3.22 | 56 | 48 |
| #4 | Patrick Baitman | +1.54 | 34 | 47 |
| #5 | Toji | +0.11 | 40 | 56 |





