








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 393 | 15% |
| Smokes | 558 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 768 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,643 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiller2k | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Zirma | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Toji | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | Patrick Baitman | 47% | 70 |
| #5 | CheezGOD | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Toji | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | Patrick Baitman | 47% | 70 |
| #5 | CheezGOD | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Sameboe | 31% | 13 |
| #7 | :3 | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick Baitman | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Toji | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | CheezGOD | 2 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick Baitman | 146 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Toji | 82 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tiller2k | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sameboe | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zirma | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheezGOD | +5.41 | 56 | 53 |
| #2 | :3 | +4.21 | 35 | 55 |
| #3 | Patrick Baitman | +1.47 | 42 | 50 |
| #4 | Tiller2k | +0.12 | 64 | 48 |
| #5 | Zirma | -0.22 | 69 | 56 |





