








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 219 | 38% |
| Smokes | 143 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 131 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 76 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $91,323 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunquist | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Backpack | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Tonza | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | nikke. | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Pignü | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | pate | 41% | 22 |
| #7 | bb | 31% | 13 |
| #8 | cs_sara89 | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | Pablo Keskobar | 17% | 6 |
| #10 | One Tap Kap ☘ | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonza | 6 | 0.0214 |
| #2 | bb | 4 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | pate | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Pignü | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | nikke. | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pate | 98 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Tonza | 58 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sunquist | 28 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | bb | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Backpack | 17 | 0.40 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✰ mamiS | +1.87 | 89 | 53 |
| #2 | pate | +1.79 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | Backpack | +0.24 | 88 | 55 |
| #4 | Pignü | -0.75 | 61 | 53 |
| #5 | Sunquist | -0.97 | 63 | 38 |





