








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1634 | 37% |
| Smokes | 905 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 766 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1099 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $468,363 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Nexus- | 86% | 28 |
| #2 | Arturxxx | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | peter's advantage | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | choker_necklace_girl | 70% | 33 |
| #5 | schjerv | 68% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Marwick | 67% | 15 |
| #8 | SvelaN | 66% | 29 |
| #9 | CED | 60% | 10 |
| #10 | ST3AL7HY | 58% | 12 |
| #11 | ngji | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schjerv | 5 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | CED | 3 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | choker_necklace_girl | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Marwick | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Arturxxx | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Nexus- | 126 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | schjerv | 78 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | choker_necklace_girl | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | quistN | 44 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | peter's advantage | 42 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Nexus- | +6.14 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | quistN | +6.04 | 94 | 71 |
| #3 | Larsen. | +4.13 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | peter's advantage | +3.16 | 78 | 79 |
| #5 | SvelaN | +2.29 | 70 | 59 |





