








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 773 | 37% |
| Smokes | 450 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 522 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 368 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,223 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7 | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | MachoMand | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Googlium | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | Penthius | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Champomy | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Googlium | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | Penthius | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Champomy | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | TAPED | 18% | 17 |
| #7 | PapaJonko | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penthius | 12 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | Champomy | 5 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | TAPED | 5 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | Googlium | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | PapaJonko | 3 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penthius | 96 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Googlium | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Champomy | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | TAPED | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | 7 | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Champomy | +1.60 | 97 | 53 |
| #2 | Penthius | +0.21 | 71 | 39 |
| #3 | Sheepie | -0.22 | 89 | 57 |
| #4 | Googlium | -0.36 | 97 | 50 |
| #5 | TAPED | -0.98 | 68 | 16 |





