










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 214 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 875 | 6% |
| Smokes | 4062 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4945 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3665 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,841,315 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2Goldfish | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | Chop1ner nz | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | Pre§§ | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Inspector Towelie | 52% | 92 |
| #5 | Vlad | 50% | 94 |





