








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2492 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2040 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1833 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2634 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,013,123 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | maVerick | 52% | 44 |
| #12 | Desole | 52% | 99 |
| #13 | Pete.R | 44% | 16 |
| #14 | Noizz | 43% | 23 |
| #15 | ilko | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChealPayus | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Desole | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | sya | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | bujaka41 SHOTIME OHTANI | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Rumako | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bujaka41 SHOTIME OHTANI | 1067 | 0.43 | 40 min |
| #2 | ChealPayus | 756 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #3 | Desole | 344 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | sya | 239 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rumako | 134 | 0.07 | 3 min |





