








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3240 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2598 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1694 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2163 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,744 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sya | 65% | 51 |
| #2 | Rumako | 59% | 95 |
| #3 | Desole | 57% | 112 |
| #4 | ChealPayus | 56% | 154 |
| #5 | MUN1CH | 53% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rumako | 59% | 95 |
| #3 | Desole | 57% | 112 |
| #4 | ChealPayus | 56% | 154 |
| #5 | MUN1CH | 53% | 113 |
| #6 | maVerick | 53% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desole | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | ChealPayus | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | MUN1CH | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Rumako | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | sya | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChealPayus | 731 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | Desole | 375 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | MUN1CH | 266 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | sya | 172 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | maVerick | 115 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChealPayus | +2.14 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | Desole | +1.27 | 72 | 75 |
| #3 | bujaka41 SHOTIME OHTANI | +1.15 | 86 | 93 |
| #4 | sya | -0.33 | 52 | 66 |
| #5 | Rumako | -0.56 | 74 | 53 |





