








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3023 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1370 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3018 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 194 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,457 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeej | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | HoeKim420 | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Mxrcov | 54% | 209 |
| #4 | Mxrco:v | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | ✪This Is Odd | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mxrcov | 54% | 209 |
| #4 | Mxrco:v | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | ✪This Is Odd | 53% | 51 |
| #6 | str0ofe | 46% | 24 |
| #7 | Rip Van Solo-Only | 45% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxrcov | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Mxrco:v | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Rip Van Solo-Only | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ✪This Is Odd | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | zeej | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxrcov | 1008 | 0.24 | 31 min |
| #2 | Rip Van Solo-Only | 519 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | Mxrco:v | 287 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | zeej | 90 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪This Is Odd | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxrcov | +4.27 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | Mxrco:v | +3.58 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | zeej | +1.59 | 72 | 32 |
| #4 | HoeKim420 | +0.32 | 44 | 67 |
| #5 | Krasnik | -1.11 | 56 | 60 |





