








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 612 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7721 | 45% |
| Smokes | 5381 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 955 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 2988 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,182,385 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 419 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mxrcov | 526 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | Krasnik | 494 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mark Nobel | 403 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mxrco:v | 134 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | (RB) Sergent Hald >>>) | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |





