








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2404 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2740 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2340 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2166 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,930 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ankkalinna | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | 2am | 57% | 65 |
| #3 | Laiska | 56% | 89 |
| #4 | <slugma>thΔll | 52% | 54 |
| #5 | 1manarmy | 51% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kpt.Sakke | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Laiska | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | 2am | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | <slugma>thΔll | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | pupperiina | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1manarmy | 389 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kpt.Sakke | 214 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | 2am | 145 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | <slugma>thΔll | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Laiska | 77 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TadaaZ! | +3.09 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | Kpt.Sakke | +1.08 | 50 | 58 |
| #3 | Laiska | +0.80 | 59 | 38 |
| #4 | 1manarmy | -0.34 | 49 | 78 |
| #5 | 2am | -0.49 | 50 | 48 |





