








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 491 | 21% |
| Smokes | 629 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 560 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 677 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,334 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | <slugma>thΔll | 64% | 45 |
| #5 | TadaaZ! | 56% | 89 |
| #6 | Kpt.Sakke | 53% | 130 |
| #7 | 1manarmy | 52% | 122 |
| #8 | pupperiina | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kpt.Sakke | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | 1manarmy | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | TadaaZ! | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | <slugma>thΔll | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Ankkalinna | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1manarmy | 337 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | TadaaZ! | 291 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kpt.Sakke | 192 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | <slugma>thΔll | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ankkalinna | 50 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TadaaZ! | +2.71 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | Kpt.Sakke | +1.89 | 54 | 59 |
| #3 | 2am | +1.59 | 56 | 56 |
| #4 | Laiska | +1.31 | 60 | 40 |
| #5 | 1manarmy | -0.16 | 50 | 78 |





