








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1577 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2322 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2168 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1821 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $912,820 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3Verse | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | T the roof | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | GHOS7 | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ono romeo | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Scholaf Lolz | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3Verse | 435 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | T the roof | 357 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | Scholaf Lolz | 227 | 0.38 | 5 min |
| #4 | GHOS7 | 202 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | [[[3CAKE POP✿ヾ(。◕‿◕。)✿・゚ | 187 | 0.17 | 5 min |





