








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 993 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2067 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1927 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1906 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,205,583 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Lucy Balboa | 51% | 166 |
| #11 | নিলয় | 48% | 33 |
| #12 | HeadBengt | 46% | 37 |
| #13 | Hannibal | 44% | 50 |
| #14 | Scholaf Lolz | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T the roof | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Smile ツ | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | [[[3CAKE POP✿ヾ(。◕‿◕。)✿・゚ | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | R3Verse | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lucy Balboa | 4 | 0.0013 |





