








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1314 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2102 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1582 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1559 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $895,498 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | Shindeiru デッド | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | horizon | 65% | 104 |
| #4 | Wilson | 63% | 40 |
| #5 | Rain Man | 62% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Haus | 57% | 112 |
| #10 | SK3L3T4L | 47% | 76 |
| #11 | dastred | 45% | 20 |
| #12 | MaDt0m | 44% | 34 |
| #13 | wxlff_ | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR MELON | 68 | 0.0303 |
| #2 | horizon | 28 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Rain Man | 23 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Jite | 23 | 0.0263 |
| #5 | SK3L3T4L | 11 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haus | 652 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #2 | SK3L3T4L | 388 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | horizon | 351 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jite | 174 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Shindeiru デッド | 169 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shindeiru デッド | +4.30 | 74 | 54 |
| #2 | MaDt0m | +3.97 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | Panda | +3.15 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | horizon | +2.42 | 79 | 52 |
| #5 | Wilson | +1.64 | 77 | 78 |





