








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 686 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6054 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5812 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4058 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5714 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,318,379 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mekawy | 56% | 212 |
| #2 | pornobrian | 55% | 89 |
| #3 | MeMe | 52% | 545 |
| #4 | NEXTxPEEK | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | DoN | 50% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MeMe | 52% | 545 |
| #4 | NEXTxPEEK | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | DoN | 50% | 316 |
| #6 | Sjuxk3 | 48% | 279 |
| #7 | Hansen | 48% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoN | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Sjuxk3 | 18 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | MeMe | 15 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Hansen | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Mekawy | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjuxk3 | 687 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | DoN | 648 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #3 | Mekawy | 619 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #4 | NEXTxPEEK | 161 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | MeMe | 118 | 0.01 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEXTxPEEK | +2.50 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | DoN | +2.00 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | Twisted_Steel_ | +0.97 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | Mekawy | +0.69 | 50 | 63 |
| #5 | pornobrian | +0.65 | 43 | 48 |





