








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3012 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2563 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2516 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2773 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,583 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Twisted_Steel_ | 56% | 212 |
| #4 | DoN | 55% | 139 |
| #5 | MeMe | 54% | 190 |
| #6 | Sjuxk3 | 53% | 119 |
| #7 | Hansen | 48% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeMe | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Sjuxk3 | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Twisted_Steel_ | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | DoN | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Hansen | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twisted_Steel_ | 470 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Sjuxk3 | 266 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | DoN | 248 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hansen | 37 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | MeMe | 30 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoN | +2.07 | 65 | 69 |
| #2 | pornobrian | +1.69 | 27 | 50 |
| #3 | Twisted_Steel_ | +1.48 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Mekawy | +0.45 | 51 | 63 |
| #5 | MeMe | -0.91 | 46 | 35 |





