








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3361 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2720 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4203 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3574 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,261 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Робчик | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | 20% *___* | 43% | 30 |
| #6 | PM40 | 37% | 27 |
| #7 | Kidlo ✪ | 30% | 57 |
| #8 | Anann_ass | 21% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anann_ass | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Havit.lsd | 5 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Kidlo ✪ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | 20% *___* | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Meitene Zeltene | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PM40 | 71 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kidlo ✪ | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Meitene Zeltene | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | 20% *___* | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Havit.lsd | 29 | 0.07 | 0 min |





