








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5508 | 18% |
| Smokes | 9523 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 9527 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6031 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $807,859 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAN | 50% | 462 |
| #2 | Milk Monster | 50% | 333 |
| #3 | StyLz | 50% | 315 |
| #4 | creggles2g | 47% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAN | 50% | 462 |
| #2 | Milk Monster | 50% | 333 |
| #3 | StyLz | 50% | 315 |
| #4 | creggles2g | 47% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAN | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | StyLz | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Milk Monster | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | creggles2g | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAN | 1491 | 0.16 | 38 min |
| #2 | creggles2g | 778 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #3 | Milk Monster | 777 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #4 | StyLz | 622 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrashData | +1.17 | 54 | 60 |
| #2 | Milk Monster | +0.55 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | DAN | +0.34 | 49 | 73 |
| #4 | StyLz | -0.19 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | creggles2g | -2.16 | 37 | 67 |





