








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2875 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2979 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2754 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1584 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,472,799 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teh Blueness | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | DAN | 52% | 388 |
| #3 | Milk Monster | 50% | 371 |
| #4 | CrashData | 50% | 315 |
| #5 | creggles2g | 49% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teh Blueness | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | DAN | 52% | 388 |
| #3 | Milk Monster | 50% | 371 |
| #4 | CrashData | 50% | 315 |
| #5 | creggles2g | 49% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrashData | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | DAN | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | creggles2g | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Milk Monster | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Teh Blueness | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAN | 1325 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #2 | CrashData | 995 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #3 | creggles2g | 909 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #4 | Milk Monster | 867 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #5 | Teh Blueness | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teh Blueness | +3.08 | 41 | 58 |
| #2 | CrashData | +1.39 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | DAN | +0.54 | 48 | 73 |
| #4 | Milk Monster | +0.45 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | StyLz | -0.05 | 67 | 63 |





