








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
790 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10 | 7% |
| Smokes | 10 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 5 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 128 | 84% |
Our logs show you have wasted $187,185 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frostyy | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Cookie Crisp Wizard | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | Heatcheck#0 | 41% | 74 |
| #4 | Gothmogs Big Toe | 39% | 96 |
| #5 | A Fat Slug | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heatcheck#0 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Gothmogs Big Toe | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Cookie Crisp Wizard | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frostyy | +3.40 | 76 | 26 |
| #2 | Cookie Crisp Wizard | +1.68 | 61 | 48 |
| #3 | Gothmogs Big Toe | +1.34 | 54 | 54 |
| #4 | Heatcheck#0 | -1.22 | 29 | 36 |
| #5 | Maz | -1.83 | 84 | 7 |





