








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4826 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3702 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2160 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3467 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,101 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JD ツ | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | A Problem | 49% | 192 |
| #5 | Billy | 45% | 183 |
| #6 | beer rage | 42% | 127 |
| #7 | JamesDaBooty | 37% | 38 |





