








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2470 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1622 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2202 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2244 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,065 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JD ツ | 47% | 57 |
| #2 | JamesDaBooty | 47% | 58 |
| #3 | urb | 45% | 183 |
| #4 | A Problem | 44% | 216 |
| #5 | beer rage | 38% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JD ツ | 47% | 57 |
| #2 | JamesDaBooty | 47% | 58 |
| #3 | urb | 45% | 183 |
| #4 | A Problem | 44% | 216 |
| #5 | beer rage | 38% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Problem | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | urb | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | beer rage | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | JD ツ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urb | 594 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | A Problem | 341 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | JD ツ | 110 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | JamesDaBooty | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | beer rage | 72 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urb | +4.13 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | A Problem | +1.23 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | Billy | -0.76 | 49 | 65 |
| #4 | JamesDaBooty | -2.14 | 38 | 48 |
| #5 | JD ツ | -3.68 | 21 | 36 |





