








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1402 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1170 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1052 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 441 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,812 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walt wertzel | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Gamer | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | sluth | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | dash | 59% | 87 |
| #5 | Durandal | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | NotAGiraffe | 46% | 28 |
| #13 | lulzxdd | 46% | 101 |
| #14 | hergs | 45% | 20 |
| #15 | erik :] | 41% | 68 |
| #16 | Comf | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dash | 37 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | Chlo | 9 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | erik :] | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | PETRMODE | 8 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | lulzxdd | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dash | 426 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | lulzxdd | 222 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Chlo | 185 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #4 | sluth | 158 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | erik :] | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dash | +7.57 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | Chlo | +6.59 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | lulzxdd | +3.11 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | erik :] | -0.39 | 66 | 48 |
| #5 | Gamer | -0.56 | 72 | 51 |





